Portland Woman Vows to Boycott Montana Because Lack of Masks Make State “Unsafe”


As the world’s tiniest violin plays somewhere off in the distance, a Portlandia resident writes an Op-Ed to the Flathead Beacon promising to boycott the state for not being safe enough.

The Flathead Beacon ran the woman’s catastrophizing, hyperbolizing meltdown under the title, Follow the Advice of Experts. Liz Lippoff of Portland, who owns a vacation property near Kalispell, acknowledged that she is not a health expert. But apparently, not being a health expert doesn’t disqualify her from having medical opinions and in a stinging rebuke to local Montanans, the Portlandian explained that this will be the second time her trip to Montana was either canceled or cut short because not enough of us wear masks.

Lipoff, whose Facebook page shows her to be an LGBTQXYZ-supporting Democrat progressive, asserted that the Flathead’s refusal to violate their citizen’s bodily autonomy with mask mandates is dangerous.

Lipoff said, “…we cut our visit short last March, alarmed by all the people crowded together and ignoring the clear signs of a rapidly growing health emergency. Now, nine months later, I read in that even the simplest of protection protocols – masks, for heaven’s sake – are still optional in a region with a virus surge that is breaking its own records.”

She then added, “Given all that, we cannot put ourselves and our loved ones in danger. We will miss the Flathead and our Montana friends, but we will stay away until we can feel safe.”

Apparently, Lipoff feels “safe” in Portland.

Last month, the city of Portland had 10,314 incidents of assault, rape, kidnapping, and homicides. There were 52,313 other crimes against property including arson, car thefts, and vandalism. There were an additional 2,238 “crimes against society” including illegal pornography, prostitution, and animal cruelty.

Conversely, in the Flathead region of Montana – masks notwithstanding – there are 1,723 active cases of COVID-19. This accounts for a whopping 34 hospitalized patients. Since the beginning of the ‘pandemic,’ 27 people have died (almost all over 80) and 3,362 people have recovered.

Portland, conversely, has 12,930 cases of COVID-19 and has endured 200 deaths.

Montanans are highly encouraged not to share with Portland residents that our COVID-19 figures are so benign or that there are more murders in Portland every day than that die in Montana of COVID-19 statewide. The last thing we should want are more Portlandians buying property in the Big Sky State who will attempt to turn our fine home into a similar cesspool of crime and anarchy with their progressive policies.


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