[Editor’s Note: Language Warning] In 1987, Aerosmith released the hit single, Dude Looks Like a Lady. If the song was reverse engineered to Lady Looks Like a Dude, it could be the theme song of at least one mannish transvestite who has been seen roaming the halls of the Montana Capitol.
Fooling precisely no one, the man has been seen wandering the Montana State Capitol like an out-of-place Sasquatch in goth make-up, looking for a snack or someone to yell at. The ill-tempered, dress-wearing man was regularly seen in the gallery of both the House and Senate, chastising legislators with his wagging, giant man fingers, and sitting in fish-net stockings reapplying his make-up with all the precision of a birthday clown with a bad hangover.
Numerous legislators have contacted the Montana Daily Gazette to inquire as to who this individual is, who clearly is a man wearing more make-up than when Rhianna is trying to cover up a black eye. The broad-shouldered man can regulalry be seen in the halls of the capitol, with his excited adam’s apple bouncing about while scolding onlookers beneath his five o’clock shadow.
Adrian Jawort, a Northern Cheyenne man from near Billings, operates Off the Pass Press, which according to its Facebook page aims to promote “Native American and Indigenous Literature.” Jawort’s Intersectionality Score is quite high, a framework of Critical Theory that assigns an informal scoring system based upon identification with ostensibly oppressed people groups. Jawort is of indigenous lineage, claims to have been victimized by white males, identifies as a woman, and believes himself “transgender” (a mythical, pseudo-religious and anti-scientific notion that asserts someone can change their gender by the power of their imagination or by bodily mutilation).
Primarily this session, Mr. Jawort has been lobbying against laws that help gender affirmation, reinforcing the notion that gender is not imaginary, malleable, or fluid. The science-first approach to gender has led to several bills being introduced in the Republican legislature that would prevent boys from competing as girls in athletics or would prevent doctors from massacring children’s genitalia like a redux of Wounded Knee.
Jawort explained his angst on Facebook, saying, “I’ve been seeing all the Montana legislative session recaps. I’ve had a flu and haven’t been able to reflect well but a local Native queer put it succinctly: they show up every two years to fuck up my life, and then congratulate themselves for it.”
Apparently, it “F#$#’s up” Jawort’s life to be told he’s not a woman just because he puts on a brazier and applies eyeshadow.
The mentally ill man, who suffers from a debilitating disorder known as gender dysphoria, said in his Facebook post, “Fascist fucks. Tomorrow I will file paperwork likely leading to a lawsuit challenging one of the many anti-trans bills. My reward will be seeing my name dragged through the mud. Being mocked by good Christians and doxxed…
He went on…
Fight the power of the State of Montana. Fuck your #Montaliban theocracy. I am not a political pawn in a chess game–someone to be used for ‘culture war’ clout and fodder. I am a fucking Indigenous Queen of these Indian Lands.
Drag queen, yes. A literal queen, no.
Reportedly, the angry transvestite and several of his associates had cornered Senator Butch Gillespie in an angry tirade. Also reportedly, Montana Family Foundation President Jeff Laszloffy escorted Sen. Gillespie to the Sergeant of Arms for his protection.
Mr. Jalwort doesn’t always stay where he’s supposed to when wandering the capitol halls. Claiming that the land belongs to him because he is native, he and a crew of fellow androgynous wanderers had to be removed from the Supreme Court chambers by security (see below). He reportedly told the security officer, “this is now my Cheyenne Land cuz [sic] I prayed sacrit [sic] prayers this morning to the Morning Star & the Creator Maheo who witnessed it!”
When not harassing Republican legislators, Mr. Jalwort can be seen engaging in cultural appropriation, pretending to be a different ethnicity, much like he pretends to be the wrong gender (see below-left, apply eye-bleach). Below, he’s pretending to be an Asian woman.
Much is at stake in Montana politics. While the Big Sky State has both cowboys and Indians, conservatives and leftists, traditionalists and progressives, we also have our share of deeply troubled residents who need immediate psychological treatment.
The Democratic process is not designed to allow inmates to run the assylum. While public resources can and should be used to help Montanans like Mr. Jalwort seek the help they need to become mentally whole, public policy cannnot be created to normalize his mental health issues.
Every Montanan – no matter who they are – is created in God’s image and should be loved, respected, and treated politely. However, it is neither respectful nor loving to reinforce someone’s psychosis. The mentally ill need therapy, and not parades or LGBTQ celebrations.
Meanwhile, the Capitol’s resident transvestite takes a slightly less respectful view of the traditional values of Montanans, likening Christ Jesus to a gender-confused crossdresser. The image (below) is from Mr. Jalwort’s Facebook page.
Jesus, of course, pointed out that “God made them, both male and female” (Matthew 19:4). Mr. Jalwort was made male. He will always be a male because that’s how medical science works. Whether or not someone lives their life in the Neighborhood of Make-Believe has no bearings on objective reality and absolute truth.
Montana can be a weird place sometimes. But so long as our leaders refuse to kowtow to psychotic insanity, we’ll continue to thrive in a place of common sense.
[Editor’s Note: We reached out to Mr. Jalwort and asked to interview him for a public interest story, but he refused because we had “misgendered” him]